in-between silence(s)

" is it right, my love, is it right?


are you happy inside your eyes?
can't you see your lover
fall apart in her silk threads?

in time the hunter will find
the trail of blood













i see you alone tonight
when will you tear down?
love will save you

try not to starve yourself of love

- feed your hunger





is it right, my love, is it right?


it's a question with no reply
i am sure of longing to be on the open sea
to feel the comfort of the mist
upon my cheek

no, i'm not crying



lose me in your memory
turn your head

let me become a part of it

let me become a part of it


(...) "









it didn't start that way...


it never does.



a more tender
more thoughtful
more heartfelt gesture gets my attention,
draws me in,
makes me feel special,
loved,
wanted...

and the game begins.

suddenly i am touched by rules i was not explained,
that i do not understand,
yet somehow invade my whole life and its surroundings.

and i can no longer smile what i feel,
i cannot hug too tight,
i cannot look deep into their eyes.

the next square to land on is unknown.
i place myself on it with all the care and honesty i can,
all the fear i hide,
all the love i do not know
- my hands clenched behind my back..

yet i always seem to mislead myself.



..


i'm in every place
all over the place(s)
in what i feel.

and i don't know
i won't find out
what flows around.

where it starts.

where it ends.


if.

what.

when.





and it will always be
a hand held
(too far)
away.










(first image: noose, by cynthia zordich
last image: (c) ana nicolau)